Questions
by damblings
Summary: Ellana Lavellan finds herself curious about the Inqusition's Commander Cullen. She discovers that he is just as curious about her.
1. Chapter 1

The events after the Inquisition had wandered through the Frostbacks to find Skyhold had surprised Ellana even more than even being hailed as the Herald of Andraste in the first place. Suddenly, the castle was unfolded, bursting to the seams with people coming and going, fixing the walls, hanging up their heraldry, putting things here and there. It was like a small city contained within battlements, sitting on an icy mountain like a crown on a king's head, and suddenly Ellana was the reigning queen. Everywhere she went, strangers bowed and called her "Your worship," in passing, merchants and ambassadors and leaders all came to see her, wanted something from her, needed something from her. It was Haven twofold, only know she had a sword nearly bigger than her to prove her authority. It was all... extremely strange.

But that wasn't even what surprised Ellana. As the right hand of her clan's Keeper, she as at least partially prepared for a leadership role- though over nothing as large as the Inquisition. What surprised her was the way that Cullen looked at her when she had a chance to speak to him in the courtyard.

"You stayed behind. You could have.. I will not allow the events of Haven to happen again. You have my word."

His voice was not serious and decisive as he always seemed to be in the war chambers, but gentle, soft, vulnerable. He allowed what appeared to be emotion to seep into his words. It was a side she had never seen of the usually all business Commander.

What had she done to earn it?

He had been her advisor several times in the events leading up to Corypheus' attack on Haven. She had begun to rely on his advice, and depend that every task she gave him would be efficiently handled. They had enjoyed smalltalk a few times even, as he told her anything she wanted to know about the Templars, but up until that very moment, he had been nothing but business, nothing but order and command and service.

Did she dare wonder if he admired her? Or even.. have feelings for her? No, Ellana, who stood on the battlements, staring out at the vast icy valley below them, shook her head at that thought; that was silly of her to imagine, a waste of her time and an abuse of professionalism. She was a Dalish mage, an elf, a mere hunter who would most likely go back to her clan after all of this was over. She was on borrowed time, on borrowed authority, hell, even the lovely velvets on her back were probably borrowed- and she was hardly anything like the rest of the Inquisition's council. Cullen was once a Templar, and now commanded an army; Leliana had been with the Hero of Ferelden and had served the Most Holy; Josephine was a daring Antivan politician, socialite and ambassador; Cassandra was even Nevarran royalty; what made Ellana think that she belonged here, or even measured up to the rest of the council? She was a plain hunter. An Elf, a mage, a mere woman who not six months ago was running nearly barefoot in the Dales. She was nothing. And she was astounded.

"Your Worship."

There it was again.

Ellana turned to see a messenger approach her. He gave her two sealed notes and a report, and word from Josephine to see her in the council chamber when she was available. She was grateful for something else to do, if only to distract her from puzzling thoughts of Cullen, and his face, and everything else about him that left her completely dumbfounded. 


	2. Chapter 2

She was back again, after a couple of weeks' worth of excursion to the Fallow Mires, standing in the stable covered in mud and muck. Cullen watched from the battlements as she walked her horse over to the stable hand, brushing a lock of her auburn hair behind one of her pointed ears, getting a bit of filth in her hair by doing so. Dennet said something to her that made her laugh, and she turned from the stables with a smile on her freckled face, the sun bathing her already tanned skin.

Cullen was exasperated. He'd had a moment of vulnerability, of letting down his guard around her, and both regretted it and didn't. One one hand, it was completely out of line for him to be so casual around his commanding Inquisitor; on the other, she was simply so easy to talk to, so trusting, so calming. It seemed only natural that he was honest around her. But now the moment haunted him, as she did, as she had ever since she'd arrived at Haven. At first he thought she was a criminal, an aspiring corrupted mage in their grasp, someone dangerous for him to execute- but from the moment he'd seen her fighting on their side, doing her best to fight the demons- his suspicion turned into curiosity and fascination. He wanted to know more about her, and he regretted that as well.

He found himself thinking about her, and every time she'd returned from a mission since, he was plagued with thoughts of where she was, when would she talk to him? Would she see him training in the courtyards, approve of his methods? Did she spy the glances he gave her across the spread map of the war table, admiring the way the candlelight fell on her cheekbones and danced in her deep green eyes? Did anything in his voice give away how badly he wanted to kiss her that day in the courtyard of Skyhold?

Cullen was all questions all over again. And he did not like it.

While he was thinking, Ellana's eyes swept over the courtyard and up to the battlements where he stood, and for a moment their eyes met. Cullen jerked back with embarrassment at having been caught staring at her, and with a flush creeping up his neck he walked off back to his office to find something to do, but he would inevitably find himself thinking about her.


	3. Chapter 3

It was during breakfast of the day after she'd returned that Ellara snuck down to the kitchens. She craftily avoided any of the various nobles who might want to demand her attention, a feat hard won considering that the door to her chambers came out into the large hall and common area, where a majority of them assembled. It was among the cooking staff that she slipped, eyeing the foods for breakfast and getting annoyed glares of her own from the ladies preparing the meal. She grabbed a piece of toast and started slathering it jam on it with a wooden spoon when Mira, a wispy elderly elf with grayed, stressed hair, put her hand on her hip and huffed at Ellana.

"Can't you wait like everyone else, da'len?" Mira asked with an air of exasperation.

A diminutive grin spread on Ellara's face. The fact that they were both Dalish elves was not lost on either of the two women. Mira was the only person in the entirety of the Inquisition that didn't give the younger elf any label of reverence- there was no "Your Worship," or "Inquisitor," with Mira- and thus far, Ellana hadn't asked her to do otherwise.

"You know Iron Bull eats almost everything I put on my plate," Ellana said, taking another bite of her crunchy toast and letting her eyes follow one of the kitchen maids carrying a rather aromatic plate of meat pies. She made a mental note to follow that one in a moment.

"Well, grow a pair and stop him! I've seen you conjure bloody lightning storms in the courtyard! Don't tell me you can't zap that brute back a foot or two!" Mira bent forward slightly as she spoke, as if she needed to recapture Ellana's attention. "Do I need to go in there and give him a whack with my spoon to keep you out of my kitchens?"

All the while, Ellana had a demure smile on her face. "No, hahren," she said, almost in a manner similar to a scolded puppy.

"Ma nuvenin," Mira said with a scoff, brushing Ellana off before turning to bark an order at one of the other girls in the kitchen. Ellana stuffed the rest of her toast in her mouth before making her way over to a pot of oatmeal, stirred with baked apples and sprinkled with cinnamon. It looked absolutely delicious, especially to her, since she had a bit of a sweet tooth. She scooped a hefty bunch into a stray bowl before hearing a massive crash of pots and pans behind her.

"Bloody hell! That's the whole damn pot of sauce, Gheni!"

Ellana turned around to see Mira standing red faced and menacing over a puddle of some watery brown sauce. The tiny girl that had dropped it withered back, her mouth open but wordless, devoid of an explanation. Ellana's eyebrows popped up as she realized it was probably a good time for her make an exit before Mira got any angrier. She started towards the door to the courtyard before dipping in a couple of fingers to taste the thick juice leftover from the baked apples, slowly savoring the sudden sugary taste.

Almost simultaneously, she spied a larger blot of shaded something- the sun was right behind them- start to come through the open door, and wheeled herself to a halt before she ran into them. She looked up to see who she had almost collided with, still absently licking her fingers one by one, as her vision adjusted and she saw the face of the Commander, looking down at her with a surprised look on his face.

As soon as she realized what she was doing, Ellana jerked her fingers out from her mouth and started nervously wiping her hand off on the side of her shirt, feeling a heat creep up her neck. "Ah- um, Cullen," she said, quickly trying to regain composure. There was an awkward grin on his face when she looked back up at him. He looked as if he had no idea what to say in such a situation.

"Inquisitor," he said. "I was about to.. check to see if there are plates enough for my new recruits," he said slowly, lifting one of his hands to rub slightly at the back of his neck.

"Right! Yes. I'll let you get back to that." Ellana nodded, almost a little too forcefully.

"Of course," Cullen said as Ellana found a sliver of space between him and the door and used it to scurry past him. She clutched her bowl in both hands with an agitated grip, her nails making slight indents in the wood as she started jogging up the stairs back to the main hall. She did not dare glance back even once.


End file.
